This is war!
by Ififall
Summary: Set in season Two. After one mean joke too many from Villanelle, Kenny snaps!


They were sitting on the desk with a box of muffins inbetween them.

"Shit Kenny, you know what I'm like with muffins!" Elena said smiling as she took one.

"White chocolate and strawberry is your favourite right?" Kenny asked, looking around the office. It was bigger, than the old one, but he still made sure that he sat across from Elena. He'd texted her at a bakery this morning. Asking her if she wanted anything. She answered back with a kiss at the end, and his heart fluttered. With Jess on maternity leave, he was hoping, well praying that Elena would come back full time.

* * *

"Thanks, why do you think Eve called us in this early?" She asked taking a bite of her muffin and reaching for a serviette/

"Maybe more info on the ghost?" Kenny shrugged.

"Finding her is gonna be like finding a needle in a bloody haystack!" Elena groaned. "It could be _me_ for all we know, maybe I'm committing crime while sleep-walking!" She chuckled.

Kenny scooted himself towards her and playfully nudged her. "You could never be the ghost"

* * *

"Why not?" She asked sipping her latte.

"You're way too angelic, you won't even take the pastries in the company hamper downstairs and they're free!" Kenny said, leaning in so close, that their arms were touching.

"I just don't want to stuff myself with pastries, I want your mum to be able to look at my figure and think that I'am perfect to go out onto the field" Elena said getting up from the desk. He immediately copied her.

* * *

"I don't think that's a problem" Kenny mused. "Your figure's always looked consistently perfect to me" He blushes, unable to meet her eyes.

"Who paid you to quote that bollocks?" Elena laughed, reaching out and grabbing his hand tightly.

It was now or never. She liked him, Kenny could feel it in his bones. He never send that email. This was a sign. A sign from the gods, a sign from the future, a sign from a angel that he and Elena were supposed to happen. All he had to do was open his mouth and ask her!

"Elena, if you're not busy...do you wanna grab dinner this Friday?" Kenny asked.

* * *

"No she doesn't! She's a lesbian Kenny! I mean you've seen the way she looks at ME right? And your mother!" Villanelle laughed as she poked her head around the door. "Kenny don't look at me like that! I'm kidding, you stiff upper lip British people cannot take a light fluffy little joke!"

Kenny and Elena move away from each other and log onto their computers.

Kenny is glaring at Villanelle who just smiles like a sunny primary school teacher on her first cup off coffee. To his relief Eve comes in, hair tied in a messy bun. A few buttons undone on her shirt, and four cups of cappuccino.

* * *

"Coffee guys! Sorry I'm late, I had a ton of things to do!" Eve grins.

"When she says_ "things"_ she means me" Villanelle grinned. You know the feeling, right Kenny?" She asked.

Eve goes to the board and starts to pass on her theories about the ghost. She assumes the woman is a minority, someone that looks safe. Someone that looks like they may not speak English that well. Eve imagined that she'd be short, maybe quite fat, or curvy. Cute, but not drop dead attractive.

"Again Kenny, you know the feeling" Villanelle said, grabbing a coffee.

* * *

"Eve, can you put a muzzle on your pet psycho please?" Elena asked. Villanelle gave her the finger in return.

V, stop it, guys I need you to help me create a profile on this ghost. Elena, I need names of female minority nurses from eighteen and up. Check any scandals, any one that caused a stir with a patient in the press. Kenny I'd like you to look up hospital badges for pictures. The frumpier she looks, the better. She's gotta look safe enough to share a hotel room with" Eve said taking off her jacket.

"I guess everyone's safe with you? Aren't they Kenny? Imagine Elena and yourself in a hotel room, on Chanel sheets. How freaky are you going to get? Do you think she'll blow you if you play a hot steamy game of scrabble?" She laughed.

* * *

Kenny stood up and took a sip of his latte. "We may not be together yet Villanelle, but when I take Elena out, it'll happen because she actually wants to date _ME, the real me,_ and not some fantasy version of me!" Kenny barked.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on! The only reason that Eve is dating you, is because she's going through a mid-life crisis, and Niko CHOSE to move out"

"She's with me because she loves me" Villanelle confirms.

"Keep telling yourself that _Oksana_!" Kenny snapped,

* * *

Before that name has even left his mouth she's marching towards Kenny with two coffee cups in her hand. Elena immediately runs over and blocks her path.

"Sorry Vill, no-one touches Kenny...apart from me" Elena smirked warding her off with a determined look.

"V,..hun? Why don't you take a five minute break?" Eve said pulling her by the arm while rubbing her back. Villanelle gives both of them daggers. But it's three against one, and she doesn't want Eve's colleagues to see them argue.

"I'll be back in ten minutes!" The assassin says excitedly in a British accent, kissing Eve on the forehead before she puts the coffee down and leaves the room.

* * *

"What crawled up her arse and died?" Elena scoffed.

"She's just nervous about working with a new team. I'm sorry Kenny. Are you two... finally a thing now?" Eve said changing the subject and moving her index finger between her two colleagues.

"Well...it's...I..." Kenny started to stutter.

"I'll tell you after our dinner on Friday!" Elena said with a wink, as Eve nodded and clapped in celebration.


End file.
